In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He did a backflip because drugs
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
