so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize