hotel room ftw
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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