what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
