This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
