I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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