is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
