You can't motorboat a personality
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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