On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
