About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
