brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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