Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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