Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
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