what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he fucked my hip out of place.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So much Jack, so little girl.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
