apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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