She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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