talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
