I think my fart just growled at me.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize