yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
