Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just gift wrapped bread.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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