I think scott just propositioned me for sex
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize