why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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