I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
