he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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