matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I love having hate sex.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
