Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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