I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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