SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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