I'm drive I can fine osifer
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
