For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
