omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
