I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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