I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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