I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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