I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
