why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
