I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
