There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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