Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
