Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
