I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
this will be a night to untag.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
