Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Randomize
