It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You know, be my cock's hype man.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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