Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
