Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I think I have vodka in my lungs
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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