I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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