oh god the rape fog is back!
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm bleeding and have questions
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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