Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
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i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
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I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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