If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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