Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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