Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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