I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
