I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
