boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
