Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
So much rum. So many feels.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
