It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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